Just Say "NO" To Fake Reindeer

WARNING: This post is meant to exercise your funny bone. If your funny bone has been removed, or is damaged, please do not read this post. 

There is a grave tragedy happening every Christmas that you may not be aware of. On lawns and cards, wrapping paper and napkins, the reindeer's image is being tarnished. This has been allowed to happen because people don't know what a REAL reindeer looks like. White tailed deer are NOT reindeer! (Yes, caribou are members of the deer family, but so are moose.) Christmas has twisted the reindeer into an over-simplified caricature of some cutesy animal that flies all over delivering Santa and his goods. 

Most deer are NOT working animals. Ever seen a white tailed deer pull a sled? Of course not. They can't handle the work on those pretty, spindly little legs. Caribou and reindeer ARE working animals. They actually do pull sleighs as well as providing milk, meat, and pelts to folks living in brutally cold parts of our planet. Their noses are similar to that of the moose so they can warm the cold air they breathe (when you live close to the North Pole, you need these sorts of adaptations!). White tailed deer could never fly; they are in no way awesome enough. They do, however, provide tasty sausage and steaks. Caribou are amazing animals capable of many feats, including flying Santa around. They aren't born to fly; they need a bit of help, so Santa puts special "additives" in their food each winter.

This is the typical "reindeer" associated with the Holidays

I have become much more aware in the past few years of just how far we've strayed from the reindeer's true image. Sure, some ads and cards get it right…they show real reindeer puling Santa. But most show simplified white tailed deer and pass them off as "reindeer" (like no one will care). Sadly many fall for this sham because they've never seen a wild animal (except the city pigeons that poop on statues all over town). Caribou cannot type and don't have Internet access, so someone must stand up for their image, and make sure the public is aware of this growing defamation. I took up this cause because caribou are stupendously more awesome than any white tailed deer. They are totally cuter and their antlers are WAY more breathtaking than any common deer can manage (except for maybe the moose and possibly the elk).  

THIS is a proper reindeer, aka caribou

So please, for the love of real reindeer, boycott yard decorations, cards, and any Christmas elements that show this erroneous version of the reindeer. Correct people when they talk about their "reindeer" decorations that are actually white tailed deer. Explain the difference, then reinforce the awesomeness of caribou. With patience and persistence, we can rid the world of this dreadful decor detour. And please, don't decorate your car, your pets, or yourself with holiday antlers; you cannot match the awesomeness of a real reindeer. On behalf of all caribou and reindeer around the arctic circle, thank you for your support and have a Merry Caribou Christmas.