Just Say "NO" To Fake Reindeer

WARNING: This post is meant to exercise your funny bone. If your funny bone has been removed, or is damaged, please do not read this post. 

There is a grave tragedy happening every Christmas that you may not be aware of. On lawns and cards, wrapping paper and napkins, the reindeer's image is being tarnished. This has been allowed to happen because people don't know what a REAL reindeer looks like. White tailed deer are NOT reindeer! (Yes, caribou are members of the deer family, but so are moose.) Christmas has twisted the reindeer into an over-simplified caricature of some cutesy animal that flies all over delivering Santa and his goods. 

Most deer are NOT working animals. Ever seen a white tailed deer pull a sled? Of course not. They can't handle the work on those pretty, spindly little legs. Caribou and reindeer ARE working animals. They actually do pull sleighs as well as providing milk, meat, and pelts to folks living in brutally cold parts of our planet. Their noses are similar to that of the moose so they can warm the cold air they breathe (when you live close to the North Pole, you need these sorts of adaptations!). White tailed deer could never fly; they are in no way awesome enough. They do, however, provide tasty sausage and steaks. Caribou are amazing animals capable of many feats, including flying Santa around. They aren't born to fly; they need a bit of help, so Santa puts special "additives" in their food each winter.

This is the typical "reindeer" associated with the Holidays

I have become much more aware in the past few years of just how far we've strayed from the reindeer's true image. Sure, some ads and cards get it right…they show real reindeer puling Santa. But most show simplified white tailed deer and pass them off as "reindeer" (like no one will care). Sadly many fall for this sham because they've never seen a wild animal (except the city pigeons that poop on statues all over town). Caribou cannot type and don't have Internet access, so someone must stand up for their image, and make sure the public is aware of this growing defamation. I took up this cause because caribou are stupendously more awesome than any white tailed deer. They are totally cuter and their antlers are WAY more breathtaking than any common deer can manage (except for maybe the moose and possibly the elk).  

THIS is a proper reindeer, aka caribou

So please, for the love of real reindeer, boycott yard decorations, cards, and any Christmas elements that show this erroneous version of the reindeer. Correct people when they talk about their "reindeer" decorations that are actually white tailed deer. Explain the difference, then reinforce the awesomeness of caribou. With patience and persistence, we can rid the world of this dreadful decor detour. And please, don't decorate your car, your pets, or yourself with holiday antlers; you cannot match the awesomeness of a real reindeer. On behalf of all caribou and reindeer around the arctic circle, thank you for your support and have a Merry Caribou Christmas.

The Abominable Christmas Monster

The Christmas Holiday has become a real troll. It has turned into a flimsy excuse to over-spend and over-indulge. Joy and good tidings have been replaced with horrendous mall traffic, boorish attitudes, and fist fights over midnight electronics deals. The real meaning of Christmas has become twisted and mangled. It causes otherwise rational people to do un-rational, stupid, and even dangerous things. We need to put an end to this frenzied, one-time-a-year economic hyper-stimulation that has become the norm. 

This is an odd stance for me because I believe myself to be a capitalist; I enjoy seeing businesses succeed, employ people, and stimulate the economy so the engine of commerce hums along like a well-oiled machine. But when it comes to Christmas, we've lost our way. We lost the "Christmas spirit". We lost our innocent ability to greet people with a "Merry Christmas" due to fears of offending someone. We lost our ability to reconnect with loved ones. We lost our peace and good will. So now what?

Here are my thoughts on how to get some of the happiness back into the season:

• Volunteer at a food bank or homeless shelter (or give donations to local food banks and shelters)
• Donate blood (not a typical association with this time of year, but blood banks have a real need since most people are extra busy and donations slow down)
• Join a caroling group (Can't sing? Who cares! People will appreciate the effort)
• Take the family to the local zoo (a lot of zoos decorate for Christmas with spectacular lighting)
• Shop for toys and donate them to Toys for Tots or other toy charities
• Donate food and supplies at local or national pet stores
• Participate in drives to send supplies, gifts, and cards to our troops overseas
• Donate to any of the various charities that have real needs this time of year (national charities such as the Salvation Army, Goodwill, Red Cross, and Toys for Tots are fantastic, but also keep in mind small, local charities close to home where the dollars go to help local families)
• Give small gifts: if you receive good service…tip a little extra this time of year, offer to watch a co-worker's house while they're away, or offer to babysit so friends can go out for a quiet dinner

With this in mind, stand up to family and friends and say, "I refuse to participate in this crazy tradition of running around like mad, buying stuff that no one really wants just to be nice." Instead, ask people what their favorite charity is. Make a donation in their name and send them a nice card letting them know about it. Instead of gift giving, spend time with people. Fix a nice meal and have people over to reconnect and share great memories (that is if you can get them to put down their smart phones for more than 10 seconds at a time). Call up relatives on the phone (wow, yes, talking to people in real time instead of posting things on social media!) and share with them what's been going on. Or, stay home with a good wine, soft lighting, candles and some classical music….sit still, watch the flame of the candle and RELAX. But above all else, don't give in to the insanity this time of year can bring. Don't fall for the barrage of slick advertising. Say no!

In case you're wondering if I followed my own advice this year, the answer is yes. I donated blood right after Thanksgiving, and we donated toys and money to Toys for Tots (for me, it is so much fun to shop for toys that I can donate to kids who need some Christmas cheer). I also make sure to donate to food charities when I'm buying groceries (I either buy extra food to put in the bin or I donate money at checkout). My husband and I do not exchange gifts and none of the adults in either of our families exchange gifts; we do make sure the kids are taken care of (usually in the form of cash so they can enjoy shopping for what they really want). I also send my Grandmother flowers this time of year since she lives alone and I can't get down to see her (I flat out refuse to travel during holidays unless there is no other choice or it is an emergency). 

I must make something clear: I do not wish to cancel Christmas. I just want people to take a step back and think for a moment about what this season means. In its less-complicated form, it is a wonderfully peaceful holiday. Even when you add the European and American traditions that have grown out of what used to be a purely Christian holy day, it is still wondrous. Also, it can be a magical time for children. I fondly remember waking up Christmas morning with my sister and running into the living room of our our Aunt's home to see all the gifts under the tree. I was surrounded by family, and it was a very special time. I also realize I am lucky to have such fond memories of my childhood. I know many are not so well off. That makes it all the more important to cut back (even a little) on the over-shopping and put that money and time to a more "human" good.

I have stepped off my soap box so I can wish everyone who reads this a very Merry Christmas and a Happy, healthy New Year. Be kind to people and let loved ones know you care. The joy you receive in return can be the greatest gift of all.

We Are The Champions! Red Sox Get It Done In Six

I just finished watching Game 6 of the World Series between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Boston Red Sox. The Red Sox took a pretty early and commanding lead in the third and fourth innings. As a fan of the Sox, I was still nervous. I knew they could do it, but there were still five innings to go and St. Louis is no pushover. 

As the game went on, my confidence grew, and my excitement grew. The pitching by Lackey was superb and the defensive plays by everyone were stellar. The relief and closing pitching was nothing short of brilliant. The thing I really loved was the fact that Stephen Drew hit a home run! Bless his heart…he had a tough time offensively during the playoffs and the World Series, but in the last game he had a wonderfully memorable at bat.

Right now I am on cloud nine. As a member of the Red Sox Nation, I am so darn proud of the Sox. They are an awesome bunch of guys and phenomenal players. Worst to First - it ain't easy to do, but Boston did it with grace and style.

I wish I could be in Boston right now, so I could give the whole team a big hug. Congrats 2013 Red Sox! 

Is it Spring yet?

And the Red Sox.....WIN!!

Game 6 of the ALCS was a nail biter. My husband and I realized early in the series between Boston and Detroit that we could NOT watch the games on TV (yes, I have sports superstitions).  Any games we saw on TV (even a part of the game), the Red Sox lost. Given that last night was an important game for Boston, we did NOT watch the game on TV, but rather listened on the radio. Things were going along great, but then it took a turn for the not-so-good. We went to bed and quit listening; hoping for a miracle. I was reading a book in another room when my husband called out that Shane Victorino hit a grand slam. Excited? No, I was dancing-on-the-ceiling-head-in-the-clouds thrilled! But we had two more innings to get through. We decided to go to sleep and hope the pitchers could get it done for Boston. I slept restlessly all night. It was like trying to sleep when you're a child hoping Santa would bring you that pony you always wanted. When I got up, I learned the news....I got my pony! The Red Sox were going to the world series. I am still grinning ear to ear watching the highlights on TV. 

I am a card carrying member of the Red Sox Nation (really, the card is in my purse and goes everywhere with me). I haven't always been a Red Sox fan. I was born and raised near the biggest city in Georgia, so I'm a life-long Braves fan.  A few years ago when I met my husband, I started following the Sox. I loved their spirit, their storied history, and I felt right at home when the team won big or went down in flames now and then (Braves fans will understand; the Braves can shine bright, and can flop majestically). You can find Boston Red Sox fans all over the world; their fan base is even bigger than the Brave's organization. I also love the color red. And the most important fact: the rivalry between the Red Sox and the Yankees. Here were a group of fans who snarled at the Yankees as much as I did!

The 2013 season for the Red Sox has been absolutely amazing. Manager John Farrell's leadership has led to a tremendous turn-around in the team's spirit and attitude from the sad finish of the 2012 season under the previous skipper. Many of the media talking heads have been going on about the team's worst-to-first turnaround. For fans, it has been a fantastic ride. And the euphoria of the 5-2 win last night against the Tigers is the type of feeling you want to hang on to for a lifetime. The world series won't start until Wednesday, so right now it about that special celebratory feeling of a "oh-wow-that-did-just-happen" type of win. 

I have enjoyed the "Fear the Beards" campaign the Red Sox started early in the season. The jovial tugging on the beards of players who score runs really shows what animated personality the Red Sox have. And seeing the fans get into the act with real and fake beards makes me smile. My favorite has to be Mike Napoli's beard because it has the quality of being neatly trimmed while still being long and luxurious  But I have to say, all the guys look pretty darn handsome with their beards. Call me biased, but I think the Boston Red Sox have the best looking players in all of MLB. 

I love all the Red Sox players. Jarrod Saltalamacchia has the longest name in the MLB which is pretty cool. "Salty" has made so many awesome doubles and the occasional key home run. I've also enjoyed watching some of the amazing plays Stephen Drew has made during the regular season and especially during the play-offs. Dustin Pedroia seems super human at times in his great defensive plays. Big Papi - what can I say about the Red Sox DH? He is like a grizzly bear scaring the wits out of pitchers with his home runs and grand slams, and also like a teddy bear you want to  hug. I could go on and on about all the great players...that is one of the things I love about the Red Sox: ALL the players have participated in the team's success.

I'm still floating on that winning feeling this morning. As the World Series approaches, I have to figure out what superstitious things will be necessary to give the Red Sox the edge. One thing I know for sure: it's going to be a magical series this year. Go Sox!

Living With Cats Means Never Worrying About...

My husband and I share our home with two wonderful cats. They couldn't be more opposite in personality and body type, but they are both excellent at keeping us safe from these common household dangers:

Being flung into outer space by the rotational forces of planet Earth

This is a hidden danger few people are aware of. Neo and Ixie keep us from being flung into the far reaches of the universe by sleeping in our laps when we are watching TV, and sleeping on our chest or legs while we are in bed. I can't even describe in normal words the feeling of security this gives us from these noble little felines.

Being injured by paper

Paper has many hidden dangers like giving you paper cuts and making you slip on the carpet. It is pretty vicious stuff. Ixie protects us on a daily basis by stalking and killing all the paper that is unfortunate enough to land on the floor or couch. She is adept at shredding the paper, chewing it to bits, and rendering it harmless to the rest of us in the house. What a brave little huntress she is.

Navigating the stairs

More people are injured each year by falling up the stairs in their home than by poking their eye out with a drinking straw. Our cats prevent such tragedy in our home by courageously running ahead of us so we have to slow down and pet them. Ixie makes the ultimate sacrifice by throwing herself down on a stair and making us pet her belly repeatedly. They also run downstairs ahead of us and stop suddenly so we don't descend the stairs at an unsafe pace.

Preventing intruders from coming into the bathroom

As you can well imagine, when you have to "do you business", you are vulnerable to random attacks by bugs or various intruders (even ghosts). Neo always shows up as I visit the throne so he can sit at the door and protect me. I can honestly say I have never been the victim of an insect or ghost attack during my private time. I feel totally safe with Neo standing watch.

Burning yourself with an iron

How do cats prevent this tragedy you ask? By becoming the iron. My cats are adept at sniffing out fresh, warm laundry and laying on shirts, pants, and towels in order to "iron" them flat. Occasionally their are some wrinkles, but that is a small price to pay to prevent dangerous ironing injuries.

As you can see, cats perform vital services to help keep their humans safe and sound. I have lost count of the potential disasters my cats had a paw in preventing. So look around your house today and ask yourself, are you safe? If you have cats, chances are you can say "yes". And give those brave cats some extra tuna to say thanks.

Various Foot Ware I Just Don't Understand

I was flipping through a footwear catalog this afternoon and there it was...the vast selection of Ugg Boots. Of all the foot fashion trends, Ugg shoes and boots baffle me. I think the only other shoe that intrigues me more are Crocs. In both cases, these are shoes or boots that literally look like you rolled out of bed, grabbed the laziest thing you could find and shoved your feet into them. And now Ugg boots come with Swarovski crystals! I'm sorry, but a shiny crystal does not a fancy shoe make. As if that weren't enough, they now have sequin boots too. If you want to go as an 80's pop star for Halloween, you're set. 

Maybe I shouldn't be so harsh on this fashion trend. After all, who am I to say what people should and shouldn't be seen in? I'm hardly a fashion maven. I guess I'm just disappointed when people could do so much better than walking around in a glorified house shoe. I know they are comfortable, but so are my pajamas, and I certainly don't leave the house wearing those (although maybe I should; I see enough people in the grocery store and the mall wearing what appear to be pajama bottoms). Perhaps I've watched so many episodes of TLC's "What Not To Wear" that I can no longer look away from lazy fashion.

As I continued to flip through the catalog, I came upon something that made me smile: actual Ugg house shoes! Here is something you can put on your bare feet and walk out to get the paper on a subzero morning. At last, something cute and casual that isn't meant to leave the house. But the more I looked, the more my photographic memory recalled teenagers wearing this very type of shoe as they shuffled around the mall. Sigh. I actually considered buying a pair of the Ugg house shoes until I saw the price; I'll just keep wearing fluffy socks and turn the heat up a degree or two in winter. They are probably worth every penny (Ugg is a very reputable brand), but I can't justify it for shoes I'll never wear outside the house.

I mentioned Crocs earlier. Here is a shoe that (from what I understand) was originally meant as a gardening shoe, or perhaps one to wear near water (after all they are rubber; you'd be hard pressed to ruin them with water, mud, or sand). Now they seem to be everyone's favorite "bang around town" shoe. Even small children are wearing them (although I blame the parents for that). I don't go to the store or to work wearing my gardening boots...and I certainly wouldn't go wearing a pair of Crocs. I do, however, wear my fancy flip flops now and then (maybe that isn't much better?). I've seen a bit of a decline this year over last year as far as the number of Croc sightings out in the world, so maybe this is a trend that's had its say and is on the way out. 

Maybe I'm being too hard on those who want to wear a comfortable shoe. But I have plenty of comfortable shoes that look nice too! It just seems to me that people are selling themselves (and their fashion) short in the shoe department. But then again, I'm sure people might look at some of my outfits and wonder what rock I popped out from behind. I guess if the shoe (or boot) fits, wear it. Even if it is a super sparkly Ugg boot.

New Year, New Me? Not Really...

The new year is upon us and it is barely two weeks old. This is the time of year where people's best intentions (also known as New Year's Resolutions) start to waver. By the end of January, a large amount of folks won't even remember what they resolved to do in the first place.  

A common resolution is to get in shape and lose weight. The popularity of this resolution is apparent by the astounding increase of advertisements offering weight-loss pills, deeply discounted gym memberships, and diet or food programs. I have nothing in particular against any of the companies pushing their products, but the bottom line is the same: you have to WANT to lose weight and/or get in shape. 

I've not lost a single pound since I last wrote about this topic. Not one. In fact, I think I might have gained about three pounds. I was certainly exercising more before I went back to a full time job last summer. Since then I have all but stopped working out. Sure, I get some minimal exertion walking around the building I work in, but that is hardly enough to qualify as "exercise". I figured things might get better when my desk was converted to a stand-up desk. While it has minimized my back and neck issues, it hasn't done anything to help me shed any pounds. I still have to do the hard work associated with that. 

Why haven't I made any progress? That is a question I ask myself every day. Yes, I have to work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, but shouldn't I have plenty of time leftover for hitting the gym? I don't have any excuses. I have no children, I don't have a dog to walk (perhaps I should invest in one so I DO walk), and I don't have any activities that take up all my spare time (well, other than trying to devote more time to the art and craft of writing). I have no reason for avoiding exercise. Well, other than that whole....exercise thing. It's hard. Apparently too hard for me.

I've decided on a new path. I will make a conscious effort to watch what I eat and the amount I eat. I've taken to writing down on little sticky notes EVERY bit of food I put in my mouth. This gives me a visual for how much I'm consuming. It makes me much more aware of times I'm eating because I'm hungry, or just eating because I'm bored. I'm trying to make a habit of eating smarter, but I don't beat myself up when I have a snack or eat a bite of fast food now and then. I'm not a big fan of the "deprive yourself of fill-in-the-blank" type of diets. For me, I do much better by slowly shifting my diet toward smarter eating.

On the exercise front, I'm also taking a slow, steady approach. I started wearing a pedometer every day (which gets uploaded to tracking software). I'm working up the courage to wake up 10 minutes earlier each morning so I can work out on my elliptical (which has been idle so long it has cobwebs on it....sigh). I'm also considering buying some leg weights and climbing the stairs in my house for 10 minutes every day. It may not be much, but it is a small step (no pun intended) toward working the habit of exercise back into my daily life.

My diet and exercise plans aren't going to put me in the TV spotlight or win me any awards, but they work for me. The bottom line for any sort of life-change: you have to WANT the rewards in order to stick to the WORK required. Now all I need to do is get off this couch and climb some stairs. I'll let you know how it goes.